Social Detox#2 is comin’ out this july.
Send in your reflections, artwork, stories, etc… for the next issue. For more info, and to submit to the next zine. Please e-mail me;
clover56 (at) riseup.net
The theme of issue #2 is personal reflection and stories about connecting the dots.
I’m excited to be facilitating a workshop at the Rochester DIY fest hosted by SDS on March 28th. Here’s the workshop description. E-mail me for more info.
Confronting Male Privilege
by Ryan Clover
Sexism divides our movements, and creates all sorts of problems within organizations and social networks. The struggle to end gender oppression can be a personal and internal process for everyone of all genders. Men however, have been taught to behave and act in ways that continue the cycle of sexism. It’s not just the Frat dudes. We all have shit we need to work on. So, this is the space to begin that process.
Last weekend a group of us gathered around a smoldering fire at Germantown Community Farm to discuss the role/responsibility of men in ending gender oppression. The discussion went in many directions as any HUGE expansive topic such as this one will facilitate. One amazing aspect of this discussion was the balance in participation. It seemed as though everyone had a lot to say and offer to the space, and I feel like I learned a lot. So I want to say thanks y’all for putting on such an awesome weekend, a great dance, and for having so many great workshops and skillshares. And the food was amazing. I am for sure movin’ out to the countryside.
I wanted to take this space to share some of the discussion topics that came up. List style:
-How can men relate to feminism in sustainable ways? A point was made that so many men’s groups have come together and men have started working on feminist projects, but then the groups fade away or someone drops the ball. Basically, how can men be involved and stay involved. What would that look like?
- Men often take up space in music that can interrupt or make the music dysfunctional. A woman expressed that playing music in a group of all women is a completely different experience than with a group of men. This topic spun off into some talk about listening skills. Which I’ll say right now as a man that’s something I need to be constantly aware of and working on.
- Childhood development and gender roles. We see kids growing up into sexist roles and acting out on them at a very young age. How can we subvert the mainstream messages and nurture a more creative and self-empowered expression of gender for kids?
- Struggle with maintaining boundaries around radical ideas in more mainstream spaces. At a worksite for example, a group of men talking in dis-respectful and sexist ways about women. How to interact with that as “one of the guys”. How to challenge that in ways that can be heard in such spaces without compromising values. Example; like acting aggressive to be heard in a group of men. How can this be done in ways that are not validating patriarchal behavior?
- We talked Men’s experience with gender. Growing up, being molded, the peer pressure, sexuality, bullying, pornography, power, etc etc..
- How can men be active in resisting sexual assault, understanding the complexities of consent in our relationships and sexualities, and being accountable and supportive to survivors of sexual assault?
- What is the power or presence of a group of men hanging out together. What is the dynamic when a woman walks by? What about when a group of men and a woman cross paths on a sidewalk. Who steps aside? How does the attention shift in the group? How can these dynamic be handled in a way that is anti-sexist and aware of privilege?
- Positive masculinity. What’s it look like? There are many different male archetypes but how does this intersect with race and white supremacy? Who gets framed as the “bad guys” and who gets access to the “good guy” male performance.
- Queer masculinity/ Transmasculine expression. Expressing ones gender is an important and empowering part of queer and trans identity. How can a masculine expression be anti-sexist and accountable to folks who are so often silenced and oppressed by sexism.
- What makes power oppressive? Can we explore roles of power together in ways that are consensual? What about sharing power. Like contributing to eachothers self empowerment rather than competing in ways that deplete or take power away from others. How can power be shared and sustainable.
- How do women play into patriarchy? How can this be challenged on a personal level as well as a social level? What dynamics exist between women that can encourage or enable a sexist space?
- Some things that we can do immediately to challenge sexism in ourselves and community; ( I can only remember a few of the things we talked about. Our conversation spun in many ways)
I just got back from the Earth First! Round River Rondevous. It was a pretty darn good time. I met some great people, learned some skills, had some really amazing conversations, ate awesome healthy food, and got covered in mud.
I did a SocialDetox workshop there with my friend Chelsea from Antioch. I thought it went really well, even though I might change some things in the future. Upcoming is the NorthEast Climate Confluence! I’m super excited about this event. Check it out.
www.climateconfluence.org
Hello world,
the next issue of social detox is in the making, amongst other things. It’s going to have no particular theme… because trying to stick to a theme has kept me from making the zine. Instead it’s going to be a strange string of thoughts and connections. Hopefully it will be accessable and make sense and be a good follow up after the first zine. To contribute to the zine, please send stuff to me.
Some topic ideas for #2
-sexism makes your music sound like shit
-personal stories from men around ithaca
-interview with me (ryan clover) about the project
-accountability and sexual assault
-consent and sex education
-liberal new age sexual predators
I regret to say that the Men’s Discussion Freeskool class is not working for me. There have been a variety of struggles to get things together here in ithaca, and there hasn’t been enough support for this project. It’s ended up with just a few people trying to find time to get together, and never getting around to it. I’m ashamed to even admit this because I feel somewhat responsible for it’s dysfunction, but I’m learning and processing so much… and really, nobody RSVP for the class.
So in my life, most of the real work and processing of these issues is happening at my house (ghostcat). There’s 3 of us, all guys, and we process so much together, and have good supportive friendships. It’s providing us with a space to encounter gender issues and work through stuff… but still, there’s something we need in the Anarchist Community at large… and that’s more action toward creating safer spaces and more action to confront sexism and deal with it.
I was traveling around a bit last month and met some guys who were trying to organize men’s anti-sexist groups… They seemed to be having the same struggle. They could have their meetings, but people were too inconsistent, so there was never any carry over. To be radical and work toward liberation, perhaps we need to emphasize a consistent process… rather than a meeting. Perhaps we need to save the meetings for times when we’re planning something, or dealing with an issue that came up. In the meantime, we can always have conversations about gender, about unlearning oppressive behavior, about developing good communication skills and relationships. I want to write more on this later.
I feel like i’m opening up a whole new space on this blog to write like this… in the first person and all… But that’s my goal right now. I want to put myself out there, and start writing about my experiences and emotions around these issues. I think that this project will be more useful this way.
Social Detox is a process, not a product.
with fire,
Ryan
The Social Detox class will be postponed until next week. We are still figuring out a good day of the week for the class. So far there are only a few RSVP’s for the class. If you are planning on being a part of this discussion, please contact me so we can work it out. Thanks!
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